.THE.LONER.
Germaine.Janelle.W
full time slacker`
august.13th.
germz15@hotmail.com
.Mu@i.Luvs.
-WIP-
.Wish.upon.the.Starz.
-WIP-
Friday, October 29, 2004
I Feel really bad...
I couldnt sleep last nite...again.. its been like this the WHOLE wk.. :S so gona be dead already. My exam starts next week n if i still cant get my bio clock in shape.. i'll be as dead as... i duno wt.. anything.. wtever... i tried sleepin frm 12+ n i jus couldnt.. instead starting thinking bout lotsa things again. really weird stuff.. some of it.. thots of things tt ppl wont think tt GERMAINE WONG will do.. i think i'm really goin mad.. crazy.. getting berserk.. wtz it bout u may i ask? whoever even actually reads this. its better for me to keep this to myself.. not gd writing all this down.. ppl may think i'm nuts or wtsoever.. always tellin myself i have to be strong.. n be rational in thots n don always think pessimistically.. but sumtimes i jus cant help it really... feelings n many thots jus empower me.. n the tears jus come.. its not if i want it too.. it jus falls..cant control it so wth.. wif it.. aunt called jus now... but its really weird..its almost as if she noe wt i was feelin.. i mean not literally... maybe jus coincidental.. maybe coz she took care of me since young i guess.. n her whole family treats me well.. as if i was a younger sis to thm.. (my cousins.. imean) tts another story fill tt in later... like she called n ask if my exams are over... sortta thing.. n i tell her no.. not till the end of next mth.. stuff etc.... thn she went on saying.. its okie.. like u can go work after tt... don need to think so much bout goin study.. not like the bois mus spnt 2 yrs doin NS etc... can go work.. earn $$ thn save for uni studies... etc... its like my aunt is not those educated type.. she didnt really go to sch.. coz of her other siblings.. etc.. being the eldest.. but whenever she talks to me.. i always feels at ease.. i duno y really..funny... keke.. point is.. i jus felt better after talkin to her.. i mean it not anything in dept wtsoever.. but its suffice.. she may not be very educated.. but she has 3 sons.. all doin fairly well i mus say.. eldest studied till masters.. other two also did uni.. yra... i jus think tt... A levels may be impt esp to many ppl.. like my cher Mr I***.. i'm sure clzmates will noe who i refer too... *tsk*tsk* goes on bout doin fairly well in it.. got A1 for GP.. etc.. very proud of it.. etc.. i don care really.. to me... its jus a way to uni.. i mean.. i noe myself.. i'm nt the studyin type.. i like moving around.. n i really like learning.. but for me to go thru thing like A's.. i guess its a wrong choice i made,,, its too late for anything else.. n of coz i'll try my best.. but i don think it;ll get me in local uni.. furthermore i really don wana go coz they don have the course i wana take.. wtever it is.. i jus take it in my stride.. n hope the best outta of it.. the real qn is wt i wana do wif this life of mine.. at times i feel like a useless person vyin for the limited oxygen on earth.. esp wif those who deserve wt they habe...better of dead u noe.. i really gotta get my act n find wt is it tt i wan... really... :P
...:::gErM@InE J@nELLe WoNg
To all my frenz: " If ever comes a day that i'm to leave before U, I'll just like U to noe tt U have REAlly Impact MY life. It may not have been anything great..Maybe even the slightest gestures.. it has certainly brought me cherishable feelings.. For all the Different things U did.. may not have been alot..But.. many of which has become great memories to me.. N i'm full of gratitude for every1 of UR FRENSHIP.. it was It tt kept me going.. Its coz of U tt life can Occasionally be a bed of roses.. There may be times tt u feel insignificant... But.. in my eyes U'll forever be so impt a fren, tt noeing there is sum1 tt cares 4 U is suffice. Will always RMB & CHERISH UR frenzship to me.. N.. i thank thee...My Fren.
